LAST BAND PICCIES, USH WILL BE ON ANY MORE AFTER THESE......HOW SAD
Landing home and get to see all those nice American people, being GREETED and SMILED AT by
UK immigration, see thats how you do it, WELCOME TO BLIGHTY, not FUCK OFF HOME YOU COMMIE TERRORIST BARE STERDS.
We now wait 2 hours for the TAXI DE BASTARDOS to arrive driven by EL BASTARDO him self,
We do the usual at customs..........Snotty creates a full scale security alert.....etc

We get delayed for an hour etc, eventually we fly home, and sleep that troubled sleep only associated with aeroplanes and tour buses.

Morning comes and we shower and stuff, at 11 we phone Melissa to see where they are....."change of plan, DEMOB weren't coming for us"
Shit, what now, we phone John to see if he was up to an extra days work, fortunatly he was he took us to a nice bar and then Fish to do a spot of shopping, finishing at the bar for a last drink, then off to NEWARK for the flight home, hugs and shit all done with, Davee drives off with John and the 4 comrades are all alone once more in Newark, Ol dashes off and comandeers a very huge luggage cart, and rides it back to us, the trolley, goes wobbly and turns into the road missing a car by inches, fortunatly Ol leaps from the cart in the nick of time.
MONDAY 16TH HOME
We arrive once again outside Snottys house, we all retrieve our baggage from the rear, and start to depart, but whats this, CHIG is saying something like, the driver needs paying?? but we paid him in advance, at the start of the trip, he wants paying again??!! THE FUKKIN LOUSY ROBBING TWAT HAD CONNED US INTO THINKING IT WAS £60 FOR JOB LOT, HENCE HIS NAME BASTARDOS TAXIS, id rather walk than book that twat again.........

The van journeys contained in this diary was an ongoing concern of mayem crazieness and the like of which you will only appreciate if you have been on tour yourselves and you have the group IQ of 12.

U.S.A TOUR
30TH JULY TO 16TH AUGUST 2004
HOME
C'MON THEN WE BETTER GO, GO FETCH A TROLLEY, OLIVER..HE HE
"THATS RIGHT FUCK OFF" SAYS DAVEE, "AND I TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, I QUIT I'M NOT YA TOUR MANAGER ANYMORE!!"
"OK OUT OF THE VAN AND NO CRYING YA GURLS", SAYS JOHN, DOING HIS BEST TO STIFLE HIS OWN TEARS
"LOOK AT ALL THE SPACE WE WOULD HAVE HAD, HAD THOSE TWATS NOT BEEN WITH US "
QUIT WITH THE BLUBBERING BULLSHIT AND GET IN THE VAN SAYS EL BASTARDOS'S FACIAL EXPRESSION
"YOU'RE ALL TWATS, BUT I LOVE YOU", HE SAYS THEN LEAVES
NAT GETS A FINAL PUNCH FROM CHIG, THEN EXITS THE VAN.
NAT LOOKING DEPRESSED
END OF TOUR BLUES??
MORE LIKE FUCK THESE LIMEYS TAKE ME HOME

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